Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Asli Zaika - God Only Knows.
I had been eyeing up this restaurant for some time as I had been struck by their advertising board which said they did a curried kidney dish. It's not something I would want myself but I was intrigued. Turns out on further inquiry that they didn't actually do this dish. Still, something excited me about the place and I was keen to try it out. This was my first mistake.
Present were:
Berry7
Dubya
Paul
Paul's housemate Mark
Desmondo
Being a small group, we expected a quick and enjoyable meal from one of the many canteen type establishments that abound in Tooting. As we found with Lahore Spice Village (the old one), we know these more intimate venues can provide the best curries. Tragically this was not the case.
Let's get it into it then. The popadums came out immediately as we ordered them. As in, seconds after we uttered the words. They were cold, stale and had clearly been sat there for some time. I am not sure I have ever left my popadums before, mainly because I am always starving and just shovel them heartily into my mouth. I could not even finish it. This was not a good start.
The service was one of the most bizarre things I have ever experienced. I am not sure how to do it justice but I reckon we had to repeat every order at least twice and any questions we had about the menu were met with the blank stare of utter confusion. It wasn't even a language barrier because pointing at dishes on the menu was met with a similar response and then after it all when the order was read back, it was wrong. I honestly believe that someone drafted in off the street could have done better. It was so bizarre that we all had to bite our lips to not rudely break out into laughter. For a moment I thought it was a wind up. Tragically it was just the service.
The starters were very average. The kebabs and samosas were edible but then I assume they are mass produced anyway so it's difficult to credit them much with these. The onion bhaji was cold. Not just warm or tepid but utterly cold and the texture was chalky. My vague hopes that bad popadums and service would give way to a feast were rapidly disappearing. It was time to move swiftly onto the mains but by now we were all convinced that the meal was not salvageable. We weren't wrong.
Now, I have eaten a lot of curries, ranging from bright orange masalas back in the 90s to homemade fares whipped up by drunken mates. I am not sure I have had a curry this bad before. Sometimes you go somewhere where all the dishes look and taste the same or just reek off curry powder but this was just indefinably bad. The aloo kheema had minced meat that looked vaguely like it might once have seen an animal. It was almost dusty and floating in the sauce. The bhindi ghost, my own choice, had such horrific lamb that I could not take more than one mouthful of it. The chicken jalfrezi had stringey bits of chicken in it, as if they had just scraped together enough for the dish from the bottom of the freezer. The chicken chilli was ok in fairness but just ok and the lamb curry made me feel sick when I tasted it. I'd to like to point out at this point that all five of us love curry and tried very hard to find something in this meal that was decent. This was not easy.
The breads were very very good. The garlic naan in particular was exceptionally fluffy and fresh and the chilli naan was similarly enjoyed. The tandoori paratha was bland however and these two naans were the only thing that salvaged a terrible meal. Actually, that's not fair, the mango lassi was good as well. So just go infor a garlic naan and lassi if you ever find yourself inside.
Sorry to be so harsh. I am aware that the owners probably work very hard in running their restaurant but if I am paying for it, I expect it to be edible.
The place - 4 out of 10. It was clean. The toilets were well maintained I suppose. It was a canteen type venue with not a lot going for it but this is not a problem if the food is up to scratch. I think we all know how those scores are going to go.
The Service - 3 out of 10. As I said, this was laughably bad. It's one thing to struggle to understand your customers, but it's another to be utterly confused, even by your own menu. Every single thing we said was met with a blank look of terror, as if we were asking for the theory of relativity to be explained in Latin. He was nice enough, he never punched anyone in the face or anything but that was literally it.
Starters and Sundries - 3 out of 10. We realised that we had to give it 3 because the naans and lassi were good. It got that desperate. We were sat there in the pub trying to find somewhere to give this place some marks. Sad times.
Curry - 1 out of 10. It took us a while to come to this mark but it was universally agreed on. At first I think we started a bit higher because it seemed almost rude to give it less but the more we discussed it, the more it became clear that anything higher was utterly unjustifiable. A curry made in your own house with the worst supermarket sauce would have been better. In fact it would have tasted like a feast from the heavens in comparison. As bad as it ever gets.
Value for Money - 1 out of 10. I mean it wasn't expensive so you could argue it represented ok value but then you have to ask yourself if it was worth 50p let alone a tenner each? I would rather pay five times that much and be able to eat it than take one bite and slide my dish away. actually scratch that I'd rather just eat somewhere for the same price that served excellent food. But you get my point...
Total - 12 out of 50. Good. Lord. Really that bad. We tried so hard to give it marks because, as I said, we aren't doing this to take glee in bad restaurants. We'd love to have a load of amazing venues to bore you with but tragically this cannot be dressed up as anything but a disaster. I can only hope we caught it on a terrible night and that one day we will go back in and be forced to apologise for this review. I won't hold my breath mind.
Happy meal costs were:
Unknown.
I totally forgot because I was so shocked by it all. I will try and find out but it's all irrelevant really. It could cost 10p and I would still not bother.
So that's that. Sorry for the harsh review but hey, we can;t just make up good dishes. We have another to review tonight. We are hoping for better! We are hoping to be able to finish it...
Berry7.
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Kastoori - The Return of The TCC
I can only apologise for the lack of content on here during my travels around South America. It appears that the two left in charge in my absence could not organise a naan fest in a tandoor oven and so the blog remained sadly blank for six months. But I am back now and the TCC is back in the mix so fear not. I can hear the collective sighs of relief all across south London from here. My time in South America was fantastic but there is a real dearth of curry out there so my taste buds were keen to be reunited with my old friends like bhajia and paneer on my return. Sorry to my real friends and family who should have been the main cause of my homesickness. Sadly it was just the curry I missed.
The rules of TCC have slightly changed. We've done away with the free-for-all, all welcome approach that pervaded before my departure and have now tightened the invite list. If you are reading this, considered yourself a member of TCC and were not invited then I am sorry. The problem we had was trying to rate a restaurant fairly with 14 drunk people baying for popadoms. We are a more discreet, better honed curry rating machine now.
Present were:
Berry7
Big Dunc.
English Matt
Desmondo
JP (Our legal advisor)
Dubya
Moun
I have wanted to try this restaurant for some time now because I have heard good things about the vegetarian wares that are available. Having shorn the group of drunken fools who always complained if we suggested a vegetarian restaurant, we were able to stroll along and get involved.
It was early in the week when we went but the place was reasonably busy and the atmosphere seemed lively when we entered. A couple sat near us began regaling us about the food and we were immediately seated with polite speed. The service was forthcoming and helpful with a flurry of activity greeting our arrival and popadoms and drinks brought quickly. The popadoms were average and I seem to remember that the dips were nothing exciting.
The variety of dishes available on the starter list was really impressive and anyone who is short sighted enough to think that vegetarian curry is limited, should really get a grip and come to a place like this. The menu threw up some exciting alternatives to the usual fare that greets you in a standard restaurant and it was refreshing to take so long scanning the menu.
To start we had chilli paneer, dahi ruri, onion bhajia and samosas. All were very satisfying with the dahi ruri being a veritable work of art in its preparation. I have pictures on my phone which I will attempt to transfer onto here as it was an impressive starter in its own right. The chilli paneer veered away from the horribly tomatoey sauce we have become accustomed to in some restaurants and the onion bhajia was fluffy and very enjoyable. Even the samosas had a great kick of cinammon in them which was a nice variant.
The mains were equally intriguing with a large selection of "specials" of which one only one dish was ever available per day. This was a nice touch as it immediately made you want the ones that weren't available and makes you start planning your next trip to try the others. They all looked very exotic and showed the diversity of the menu. The pick of the mains were the Mutter Panir, Special Tomato Curry and the Chilli Banana Special although all of them were very tasty. There was a definite sense that you were eating something made fresh and without heaps of additives and colourings. Each dish tasted thoroughly different to the last and you could identify the vegetables in each easily. The flavours were really impressive and this is not the sort of restaurant where each dish is just made from one standard base.
As the meal wore on and the dishes got banded about, you could not help but feel that this place deserved its reputation as providing high quality, vegetarian dishes that stood out in a sea of Indian restaurants.
The place - 8 out of 10. The restaurant did all it could to be a friendly and warm place to have dinner. The decor is clean and tasteful and the atmosphere inside was welcoming. Everything from the interior to the table itself were clean and modern in appearance.
The Service - 8 out of 10. The owner spent a large amount of time talking us through the dishes. I think he clocked that we were curry nerds when we came in and decided that on a quiet night he could afford to indulge our geekishness. We learnt about the sourcing of vegetables, the combination of Ugandan and Indian cooking and how the specials are prepared. The order was correct throughout. The boss definitely made it though as the rest of the staff were very pleasant without being extraordinary.
Starters and Sundries - 7 out of 10. I am wondering if this score was a tad harsh. Being our first meeting in six months, I think we were scared to just start raving about a place. Possibly a 7.5 or 8 would have been fairer. The starters were good and the variety on offer excellent. The popadoms were possibly a bit bland and the dips on offer not that exciting but the bhajia and chilli paneer were very tasty. Chapatis and rice were good.
Curry - 9 out of 10. Very, very enjoyable. The selection was varied and the special list was extensive. The chilli banana was so tasty and the special tomato curry, as recommended by Ash Akhtar months ago on our comments section, was so flavourful as to be almost confusing. How can tomatoes taste so good? Too many good curries to list but the veggie curry with aubergine was also great. Must stop or I will keep writing.
Value for Money - 7 out of 10. Not that cheap. But then we did drink a fair bit and maybe this skewed our feeling of how much we paid. I think the bill was £21 a head including tip and this included a couple of pints each. Again I am wondering if this mark is a little harsh as value is based on quality as well as price. Perhaps an 8 would be fairer but the marks cannot be changed!
Total - 39 out of 50. A new leader and deservedly so. This place provided so much quality and diversity that it is impossible to argue with this result. It could easily have broken 40 as well I think but such is the drunken voting system of the TCC after six months out. If you have not been here then get down there. It really will not disappoint
Happy meal costs were:
Tarka dall - £2.95.
Chapatai (no naan) - £1.50 (two pieces).
Plain rice - £2.50.
Mango lassi (no plain) - £2.75.
Total - £9.70. Expensive. Think this is skewed by the pricey mango lassi. Perhaps they would have done a plain lassi on demand.
So we're back. To come back to a curry of this standard was most pleasing and a definite contender to take people who may not like the canteen style restaurants that we love like Lahore and Mirch. In fact I think this provides a really nice balance of price, quality and comfort and is somewhere you need to visit if you have not already. Good to be back. See you all soon.
Berry7.
Thursday, 3 January 2008
Mirch Masala - A proper Christmas meal with all the trimmings.
Before Christmas, we ventured to Mirch Masala for a slap up meal and a few cheeky cans of cider. Sorry for the late write up but I've been flat out gobbling turkey, eating cheese and consuming alcohol like it's mineral water. Now my life is starting to realign, I thought I best write up this gem of a location.
http://www.mirchmasalarestaurant.co.uk/mm/index.htm
Looking at this, the original opened in Norbury and this branch opened in 2001. Enough history. Here's the review.
Present were:
Berry7
The Chapati Kid
Desmondo
Spice Jet Farmer
Moun
Bad Drunk Ben
English Matt (Ithink)
Lurch (Edit - Who wasn't actually there it turns out)
Dubya
Sal
Angry Northern Steve
Plus a fair few others but its ages ago and I was drunk. Let me know and I'll add you in. (Edit - think that's everyone now...)
Now it is hard to review this place because we have always loved it, but we made a stringent effort to be honest and to give it a fair rating. We love it because it consistently delivers incredible curry, at very reasonable prices. Like Lahore it doesn't place too much emphasis on being swanky but more on the quality of its dishes. Being made up of people more concerned with the content of our plates, this sits very well with us. Would it deliver now though? When it mattered.
They managed to sit us very quickly despite being busy and us having about 10 people in our party, and we were ushered to the upstairs window seat. Because we have eaten here a few times we kind of knew what we were after and the service was quick as usual.
The popadoms and dips came quickly but were disappointing. For some reason they only give you two dips: a yoghurt and a chilli one. Both are ok but neither set the culinary world alight and I do like my mango chutney and onion salad. It just feels like a bit of a let down and sets a slightly strange tone to start the meal.
The starters however haul everything right back on track and provided a great variety of dishes for us to try. We tried to order a similar selection to our normal fare when reviewing, to give us a good comparison against other venues. The samosas were ok, the kebabs were very tasty and the fish bhajia we ordered was very enjoyable indeed. I had never had that before. The two highlights however were the onion bhajia and the tikka paneer. Both of which I am yet to see bettered round Tooting. The tikka paneer really is amazing. Worth visiting for that alone, in my humble opinion.
The mains fared just as well, if not better. I don't want to sound too gushing as I have already admitted that I love this place but really, the curry is amazing here. All the mains we had were great. The chilli chicken karahi, methi chicken and chicken korma all provided us with quality curry experiences but it was the fish tikka masala, okra curry (forget the name) and paneer tikka masala which really stood out. I am yet to have a better fish curry anywhere I don't think.
I'd like to write more about the mains but by this point I was quite drunk and my notes have personal insults about my fellow TCC members and myself scrawled in spider like writing all over them. It's not as professional as I'd hoped. Sorry but it was Christmas!
The place - 6 out of 10. Pretty average decor but clean and bustling with people. The upstairs provides quite a nice location for bigger parties while the downstairs is a bit more lively if you are in a smaller crowd. It's fine but it's really nothing special. Bit better than Lahore but none of the glamour of a posh restaurant.
The Service - 7.5 out of 10. I can't quite remember why we only gave it 7.5. I think the service was good and all the ordering was done correctly but we weren't blown out of the water by how we were treated. To be honest I was a bit drunk at the end. Good but nothing amazing I think!
Starters and Sundries - 8 out of 10. Fantastic. Like I said the tikka paneer is quite immense and all the others were great. For me the bhajia and the paneer are as good a starter as I have had in Tooting, on par with those at Lahore where the chicken tikka was really very impressive. Nans and rice were good quality also.
Curry - 9 out of 10. Brilliant. Really, really tasty, good selection and my fish tikka masala was simply out of this world. It really was enjoyable and possibly a bit better than Lahore for quality of curry. In our opinion obviously. I just don't think you can say much more really.
Value for Money - 8 out of 10. Not as cheap as Lahore but still great value. I did take the bill home with me but I may have eaten it in the Tooting Tram and Social afterwards. Sorry about that. Can anyone else remember the rough costs? All I can remember is it was great value considering how good the curry was. BYO keeps the cost down although we didn't factor this into our score. Good if you like a drink though.
Total - 38.5 out of 50. A joint leader! A great venue, really lively, excellent curry and value for money. Perhaps if you wanted a swankier venue you'd go to Vijaya Krishna but if you want brilliant curry then Lahore or Mirch. I think Mirch just edges it but I've only been to Lahore once so I think it's wise to say that could be personal bias. Get involved.
Happy meal costs were:
Tarka dall - £4.00.
Plain naan - 70p.
Plain rice - £1.50.
Plain lassi - 50p. (So mentally cheap I ordered one and it was very good)
Total - £6.70. Reasonable prices helped by a very cheap lassi.
So...good. Very good and one I would happily recommend to anyone looking to hit Tooting for a curry. I hope the review is fair and covers the good and bad parts of the place. Like Lahore though it goes straight for good quality curry and for us, that's really what it's all about. Give it a try. I doubt you will be disappointed.
I'm off for three months to South America. I am toying with setting up a chain of curry houses there. If that falls through I'll be back in April and until then, the Chapati Kid and Big Dunc will look after you.
Happy currying.
Berry7.
Wednesday, 5 December 2007
Laziza - Brighter than the sun!
http://www.lazizarestaurant.co.uk/
Kept thinking the page wouldn't load properly but then realised that is the actual website, Amusing.
Present were:
Berry7
Big Dunc.
Nickos (The Chapati Kid)
Co-pot and his mate.
This place is the brightest venue in Tooting. It eminates whiteness from withn and looks like it could guide the 3 wise men home on a particularly bleak night. You can't miss it and so it had attracted my attention for a while. Being reasonably new I wanted to see what it had to offer.
On entering we were greeted with warm smiles and ushered to a seat. Immediate attention was given to us and it was a pleasing beginning. The menu was extensive and pretty cheap on first perusal and this all boded well for us. We asked a fair few questions about what to order and each time we got sound and knowledgable advice. The popadoms were a little bit greasy and the dips plentiful but not very exciting and obviously mass produced. Nothing great and nothing bad so we tucked in.
For starters we had some nice kebabs, both chilli and normal ones, but the bhajis and samosas were a little bit on the disappointing side. It was all ok though and we were hoping the mains would give us a bit of a lift. For mains we ordered kebab karahi, chicken jalfrezi, chicken korma, lamb dopiaza and lamb haleem, the last being a recommendation from the waiter. Bring it on then! On top of this we had a saag paneer and a some bhindi bhajee.
The mains were really quite disappointing. The korma had a very thin sauce and no real flavour at all and the jalfrezi wasn't spicy in the least. Which left our two guests a little aggrieved after hearing so much goodness about curries in Tooting, and us a little embarrassed. The lamb dopiaza was quite good mind and the kebab karahi was probably the winner. But that often comes down to the strong taste of the kebab meat which we all like a lot, rather than the curry I find. My lamb haleem had a nice enough lentilly flavour but I could not find a single piece of meat in it. I asumed it must be minced or something but it just seemed to be a lentil dish to me. Which was a shame really as it had a nice flavour, This may be my lack of understanding about Indian cooking though so I may have just ordered the wrong type of dish. The okra was the best part of the meal but special, special mention to the saag paneer which was the worst I have ever tasted. It was bitter and inedible. Considering all of us agreed when ordering that saag paneer was a favourite of ours, this was a massive let down. Special mention to the massive mango lassis mind which were delicious.
The place - 5 out of 10. It was your typical canteen but it did little to make it feel homely. it is sterile and bright on entry which doesn't make it feel very comfortable and it was also pretty quiet. It was clean and so on, so you can't complain as such but it really offered nothing other than a table and some chairs.
The Service - 7.5 out of 10. They scored well on service. From the moment we came in we were treated well and attended to regularly. Menus were explained and recommendations made, At the end as well, they brought us out some free desserts and the owner had a chat with us. It was a real effort in that respect and it was appreciated.
Starters and Sundries - 4 out of 10. Just nothing of real note. In an area flooded with curry, it's not really good enough to just serve up average fare and expect people to return. everything was quite bland although the kebabs were good. But then they always are I find, wherever I go. The rice wasn't particularly nice and the breads also failed to inspire. The basics weren't great which is never an encouraging sign.
Curry - 5 out of 10. They just didn't deliver anything exciting really. The okra was the best and very palatable, with the kebab and lamb dishes offereing some nice flavours but the korma, jalfrezi and haleem were a bit lacking and let's never speak of the saag paneer again. I can only assume something went wrong with that. Truly bizarre.
Value for Money - 6 out of 10. It was cheap enough, cosidering how much we ordered. The bill was about £10.50 a head with tip and we got free dessert out of it but I would rather spend that money elsewhere. Being cheap is important to this score but providing good curry is also vital. Just not enough value in that sense.
Total - 27.5 out of 50. An average venue reflected in the scoreline. It was saved by its service which was a nice touch but the food wasn't up to scratch. If a little extra effort was made with the food and the decor then it could do well. It just needs to provide a slightly better level of taste.
Happy meal costs were:
Tarka dall - £2.75.
Plain naan - 60p..
Plain rice - £1.30.
Plain lassi - £1.50.
Total - £6.15. Good cheap prices.
So a friendly venue which could work harder on its dishes. Room for improvement there. Oh and a special mention to Big Dunc who was sick after his meal. We have still not established the cause of this but by all accounts it was sheer volume of food and resultant beers rather than anything to do with the curry's hygiene! Good work Dunc. Top quality eating disorder there.
I'm off to Brazil. The Cahapati Kid will bring you the next review. If it's loads better than mine I might remove him from the group.
Berry7.
Saturday, 1 December 2007
Vijaya Krishna - Some sort of Curry God I presume.
Present were:
Berry7
Big Dunc.
Drunk Steed plus Drunk Mate.
Jag the Token Indian (Steed's long suffering wife)
English Matt plus bird.
Tom The Blog Stalker
My immediate thoughts on entering where "This place looks pricey!". The surroundings are unlike most curry houses in Tooting. It looks more like a "normal" curry house, with lighting that doesn't burn your retinas and real tables with soft furnishings. I think this slightly scared us. With a party of 8 on Friday night they told us to go to the pub and they would call us when the table was ready. They did this which was a nice touch and then made room for two extras we picked up en route. A good effort.
The drunk people in the group giggled at the arty picture of a woman breastfeeding. It was going to be a lomng night if the food wasn't up to scratch I thought. The waiters were immediately attentive and good popadoms soon arrived. The dips were on the small side which always annoys me a bit because I like loading my plate but there were 5 and they were very nice. It was, all in all, a good start.
The starters consisted of a masala dosa, onion bhajees, mysore bhonda (great name!), chilli paneer, cashew pakoda and Rasam soup. All were good except the cashew nut one but in fairness it did what it said on the menu. It just didn't work like I thought it would. The chilli paneer was excellent and all of the starters met with approval. I have never had an Indian soup before either and that was nice. The sort of thing you should eat when you are ill. Warm and fiery.
The mains were also well received. We ordered lamb and chicken dopiazas, butter chicken, fish curry, chicken bhuna, chicken methi, okra curry (on the specials section), chicken jalfrezi, puri, saag aloo and tomato curry. We were hungry and Big Dunc was with us! The mains were generally excellent although my fish curry wasn't very good. It tasted a bit too fishy (which sounds like a stupid thing to say I know) and personally I was disappointed. But overall the quality was high. The chill and garlic paratha I had was awesome and I really enjoyed the meal. The tomato curry was great as well and had some real spice and the variety and quality of dishes was high.
The place - 8.5 out of 10. This scored much more highly than Maseladar which suggest we were harsh on that place or this place did the upmarket thing better. I think it was the latter. Small and nicely decorated, this place had a really nice feel to it and of all the ones we have seen so far, this one got closest to being a curry house for a more discerning customer. Unlike Maseladar though, the curries backed up the decor.
The Service - 8 out of 10. Good service all round. From the phone call in the pub, to the two extra seats which were in all honesty a bit of a pain for the staff to deal with, to the decent attention the staff worked hard to keep us topped up on drinks and so on. They were happy to advise on dishes and answer questions. Good stuff.
Starters and Sundries - 7 out of 10. Good starters all round but nothing spectacular. We were all happy enough though. Small dips and the cashew one let it down. The sundries were similarly of a decent standard. Nothing to blow you away but all in all fine.
Curry - 7 out of 10. again the curries were above average. The range on offer was extensive but the dishes weren't hugely different in their taste at times. In fairness though the general quality was good. M y fish curry was pretty bad but it was the exception and the tomato and okra ones were very nice.
Value for Money - 8 out of 10. A bizarre one this as I thought the bill would be a lot higher. I'm still pretty sure that they missed some beers off the bill so maybe the value would have been lower if they remembered them. £2.50 for a mango lassi is a lot for example but the cost per head, with some heavy drinking from some, was £16. Pretty damn good in my book. I'd like to go back and test the value again though. Still seems a bit cheap to me overall.
Total - 38.5 out of 50. A new leader. Now this caused some consternation from the masses in the pub afterwards. Should this curry house come out ahead of Lahore? The curry lovers in us said no. But the TCC isn't just about rating the dishes. It's about the overall experience and this was part of our aim at the start. So Lahore loses out because it looks like a canteen and the service is average. If you want an amazing curry go to Lahore. If you want a proper eating experience with a partner or friends and so on then go here. But then variety and choice is what we want so this is a good thing. A place for a certain occasion.
Happy meal costs were:
Tarka dall - £3.20.
Plain paratha - £1.90.
Plain rice - £1.90.
Plain lassi - £2.00.
Total - £9.00. Not cheap.
So we have a new leader. Excitement abounds. We did another one this week so I'll get the review up next week before I go to Brazil. It's a tough life. No curry mind...
Berry7.
Friday, 23 November 2007
Jaffna House - Just Like Going Round Your Nan's House.
Jaffna House Sherbert Specials.
Present were:
Berry7
Lurch
Dubya
Boulder
Moun
Paul
Big Dunc
Matt
Tom (guest star!)
and many others. Long time ago now!
I can't really describe the place adequately. It's very amusing and totally unique. We walked in and, sat at a table near the bar, was what looked like some sort of Indian cowboy. He was brilliant. I tried to take a good picture of him but was a bit scared he might rough me up in a western style.

The Assassin.
They worked hard to seat us as there were loads of us and they even shifted the Indian Assassin from what was probably his preferred seat. He moved without incident.
Popadoms were brought swiftly, however the dips never appeared for about 5 more minutes which was frsutrating. When they did arrive however, we were treated to the greatest lime pickle I've had in a while. Only two dips mind with the other being mango chutney but it was good stuff.
Possibly my favourite thing about this place is it has a different menu for starters and main courses. I felt like I was in the Ritz or something. The selection is amazing and some of starters were 60 or 70p. Bargain. As we soon found out though, the cheap starters were pretty nasty and mass produced while the more expensive ones were a bit more what you'd expect in a curry house. The devilled squid, chicken tikka, cutlet and aloo chai were all enjoyed while the simple things like the bhajis and so on were pretty uninspiring. Great choice though.
The mains arrived, some time later it must be said, and they were similar to the starters. Great choice, varied dishes available and good value. We ordered ones we had not before like a seafood kothu and mutton kothu while Paul went in for a crab curry which came with a full crab! We laughed at him as he tried to eat it. Other regulars like fish curry and chicken tikka bhuna made up the rest. The mains were intersting in that there was so much variety and choice. We were all amazed at the different types available, and it was nice to see so much selection. The mains themselves were average in that most were pretty tasty but nothing exceptional. They had a good level of spice and were reasonably big but they were just a little bit middle of the road overall.
The place - 6.5 out of 10. It scored well on novelty factor but it's not exactly luxurious. It really is like walking into someone's lounge (apart from the bar) and sitting down to eat. But personally, this made it for me. I thought it made a nice change from the normal restaurant or canteen variety. I am a fan of "lounge eating". It was clean and acceptable all round.
The Service - 7 out of 10. The waiter was about as friendly as he could be. He worked hard to keep us happy and always did so with a smile. At the same time though, the service was kind of strange. Popadoms arriving without dips, mains not appearing for about an hour and strange goings on at times.
Paul : "How exactly do I eat this crab curry?"
Waiter; "I have no idea."
It was the kind of service were even though you know it's terrible, you don't mind because it's in keeping with the general feel. The guy did really try hard as well.
Starters and Sundries - 6 out of 10. Some were really quite exciting, like the devilled fish and the cutlet starter but others were pretty obnoxious and mass produced. I would stick with the ones that look like a reasonable price. The ones that looked very cheap, tasted it. The sundries were all ok and overall it was adequate.
Curry - 6 out of 10. Again, it was ok but nothing more. A great selection and plenty of choice but nothing really exciting to stand it out. Think the best I tried was the chicken tikka bhuna which was a shame as I was much more excited about all the ones I hadn't had before. Alas they tasted pretty bland at times.
Value for Money - 7 out of 10. I stupidly haven't written down how much the bill came to but I seem to remember that we were all reasonably content. I think it was about £20 a head but we had ordered a lot of beers and some Jaffna House Sherbert Specials. The cost was about right, if not cheap, but it didn't score higher because the meal wasn't that exciting.
Total - 32.5 out of 50. I would go here just for the venue myself. It has a great feel and the novelty factor would be worth it alone. A brave man could take a lady here as they have a little lover's both to the side of the door as well. I wouldn't if you're taking my sister out. Pick the woman carefully. The food was ok but it had little glimpses of magic in its beer selections and so on. They did a great Indian stout that was 8.5%. Lots of stuff to make it worth a visit but just missing that special touch.

Lion Stout!
The happy meal was:
Masoor dall (no tarka) - £2.00.
Plain naan - £1.50.
Plain rice - £1.25.
Mango lassi - £1.50.
Total - £6.25
Pretty good value.
So that's it. We're going out again tonight so expect another review early next week. Special mention to Tom, who got in contact through the blog and then turned up to meet us. fair play. He is now an established TCC member. The empire grows.
Berry7.
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Radha Krishna Bhavan - Sounds like a 1970s Indian Cricket Legend
Present were:
Berry7
Lurch
Dubya
Loz
Boulderhead Alan
Michelle
Steedane
Jag the Token Indian
Matt the Neglected Aussie (Apologies!)
Can't remember the rest. Sorry!
It was a bit worrying to see two older men dealing with a rammed restaurant. We did the old glance around to get someone's attention and after a few attempts I was met with a "one moment". Ok then. I feared we may be treated to some more bad service. However I was wrong as the waiters were just genuinely trying to get through the backlog of work thrown upon them. I think an extra member of staff might have helped but it was mid week. Fair dos.
Poppadoms came out and we tucked in like starved prisoners finally tasting real food after years stashed in a hole. Lurch had earlier tried to eat his own arm so we were excited to get some scram The dips included the yellow coconut goodness that I don't know the name of, and were most pleasing.
The starters included dosas as it was a South Indian restaurant and we ordered the following: ravi dosa, chicken dosa, onion bhaji, uthappam, chilli paneer and potato bhonda. The starters were a mixed bag with some excellent moments like the two dosas and the bonda but average bhajis and terrible chilli paneer. The selection was varied though and it went down pretty well. But then we were starving.
Onto the mains and the waiter advised us that 6 or 7 mains would not be enough between the 11 of us. Normally when we have a load of starters, we often order less than one main per person and bulk up on side dishes so I was surprised at this. I told him we'd be fine and ordered anyway. It turned out the was right, but more because the portion sizes were very small. We picked kerala fish curry, cochin prawn, kerala mutton, chicken masalaban, chicken and spinach, lamb fry masala and some sides like beetthoran, carrot poriyal and tomamto curry. As suggested by Ash Aktar, albeit at a different venue.
The food was good. The variety of dishes was excellent and the veggie sides were tasty and varied. The tomato curry was fantastic and we heartily ordered some more dishes, as the waiter had recommended we should do. We thoroughly enjoyed them but you couldn't help but notice that not a huge amount of meat or fish was present in them. There were no naans so we had parathas which were quite tasty and everything was pretty enjoyable.
It was only when the bill came that the mood changed a little. But anyway, onto the scores.
The place - 8 out of 10. It was cool! Comfy, homely with a touch of mad Indian design going on. The place was small and busy which gave it a really good vibe and the waiters ran around all night, giving it an appearance of being very lively. We argued over 8 or 8.5 but I settled with 8 as it wasn't exactly lavish or anything. A good venue though undoubtedly.
The Service - 7 out of 10. The guys were a little bit abrupt at first but simply because they were so busy. They seated us quickly and once we got passed the initial delay they were attentive and friendly. They chatted us through dishes and so on and advised us where needed. There were some delays at times though and the banter wasn't exactly flowing so we gave it a good but not outstanding mark.
Starters and Sundries - 6 out of 10. The starters were not bad. Some were better than others though and I think they got so demolished because it was late and we were hungry. The dosas were really nice but again the chilli paneer was pretty bad. The sundries were similarly ok but again nothing amazing.
Curry - 7.5 out of 10. The curries were very tasty and the variety was excellent. The mutton and fish ones were lovely and I really enjoyed the tomato one. There was plenty of choice and all were distinct in their taste and spice. We liked them so much we ordered a couple more at the end to fill us up. I am getting quite hungry just typing this up...
Value for Money - 3 out of 10. And this is where the most important part of the review takes place. The bill was very expensive. Well, expensive for Tooting. We did have a couple of large cobras but the bill was about £25 a head. Looking back at the menu, I realised that the dosas were £5 and some of the mains £7. Given that the mains came in pretty small bowls this was very expensive. I was pretty shocked and it was a shame as the place was good.
Total - 31.5 out of 50. A good venue let down by the cost. Maybe it fills a niche because I would probably take my parents to somewhere like this over a Mirch or Lahore but I was pretty shocked at the cost. It would have scored really well if the bill had been more reasonable.
The happy meal was:
Dal plus spinach (no tarka) - £2.50.
Plain paratha (no naan) - £1.60.
Plain rice - £1.60.
Mango lassi - £1.90.
Total - £7.60
I'm off to have a cocktail now so that's your lot. Review a bit late as I was off sick last week and my broadband isn't up and running yet. Sorry about that. Who knows what the next venue will bring. Hopefully a smaller bill but mains that are just as tasty!
Berry7.
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Kolami - No joke required. Just eat here.
This was a weird TCC as we decided to go after the rugby between England and Tonga. I was slightly concerned that we would just get drunk and stumble around, unable to remember the voting criteria as we dunked our faces in seaming bowls of madras. As it turned out, it was best we had been for a drink. Given that being drunk means you can eat donner kebabs and see them as some sort of gourmet feast, it does not bode well on this establishment that we were so disappointed with our evening.
The meal began with swift delivery of acceptable poppadoms and dips. A fair enough start. The waiter was polite but hardly friendly and the place was empty apart from our table of eleven.
Berry7
Northern Steve.
Spice Jet Farmer
Desmond
Bad Drunk Ben.
Lurch
Shell
Dubya
Paul the Coin Thrower
Elle plus fella

The place was deserted. I tried not to read too much into that but I can see why now. We ordered and the waiter did a good job in reading the order back to us. We were a drunken group and he worked hard to get the order right. The menu was very inflexible though and when I asked if I could order fish masala, I was told no. They had other masala dishes and fish dishes but couldn't do anything but a fish curry. Fine, no worries and all that but it always annoys me when no effort is made to accommodate what you want. I've had that dish in every place so I'm not convinced it's particularly hard to get.
The starters were pretty terrible. Apologies for the slightly half baked report but I didn't take the normal notes and so I can't tell you what we had. Being a South Indian restaurant, some of the starters weren't that well known to me so we picked a few random ones and just got involved. They were really dry and crunchy and even when heaped with yoghurt, were unpleasant to gnaw through. The bhaji was ok and the spinach one was not bad but everything tasted reheated and dreary.
So we moved onto the mains, already sensing a car crash of a meal. The mains came out and we piled in, drunk and hoping that, like Maseladar, we would be greeted by good quality dishes. The notes I have alongside my fish read "FUCKING RANK". Now I am genuinely not the harshest of critics but it was soooooo fishy that I could barely taste it. It wasn't just me as I passed it round and saw the same face pulled each time. I was pretty shocked to be frank. The lamb bhuna and chilli chicken were pretty acceptable and the goa chicken vindaloo average but the lamb masala was poor and the chicken and spinach was positively bad. I saw a tikka masala going round which was luminous orange and I kind of gave up trying after my fish had made me gag into my own mouth. I can only hope they were unlucky with the fish they gave me but I couldn't ever go back.
I didn't make many notes. Unlike Lahore or Lahori Spice Village where debate was raging about relative merits, people were mainly pushing their plates away and hoping we could leave. Paul was so drunk by this point that he was becoming a liability and we debated force feeding him the fish curry to silence him. For ever perhaps.
I'm not sure if the marks are fair. I tried really hard to be positive when arguing them but a couple of people would have given 1s or 2s if given their way. In fairness this inlcuded Paul who by now was telling us all that he had eaten better dog. Not sure what that tells us but hey.
The place - 4 out of 10. Quieter than a library packed with smack heads, the place almost scared me. No one was in there and it was obvious why later on. i tried to add marks for the decor to be kind and it was clean but it reeked of mid 80s suburban curry house. Clean. That's about it.
The Service - 5 out of 10. i argued for a higher mark here with some of the others because the guy tried hard to keep us happy. We weren't a model crowd, we had been watching rugby and were 11 in number but other than his politeness, he never really worked to have any banter with us or help. Given that we were his only table and thus the only chance for a tip, this surprised me. It was 10.30 when we went in but then it's a Friday in Tooting for goodness sake. Meals were brought out quickly. That's about all.
Starters and Sundries - 3 out of 10. Pretty foul. Nothing of real note and a pretty bad stepping stone into the world of badness that awaited us. Think we gave it a 3 because the bhaji was edible and I was drunk enough to feel guilt at giing it less.
Curry - 3.5 out of 10. This caused some contention. A few people tried to argue for 5s. Paul was drunkenly rambling about a 1 being too high. My fish disgusted me but I tried to be fair in that a couple of the dishes were edible. 3.5 was pretty fair in my eyes and possibly generous. Not good. very basic and uninspiring food all round.
Value for Money - 3 out of 10. How do you define value? Having a nice meal would be a start. i was so unimpressed by the end that I didn't even write the bill down. But it wasn't cheap. Think it was £17 but that included two big Cobras so probably about £10 a head for food. Regardless, it's not about the money at this point. Yes it was food and yes some was edible. That's about your lot.

The happy meal was:
Tarka Dall - £3.50
Plain Rice - £1.90
Plain Naan - £1.20
Sweet Lassi - £1.90
Total - £8.50.
A scandal really.
(Edit: i have just remembered that Paul's anger at the meal was such that when he realised we had left 10% as a tip, and still had some extra money left on top, that his reaction was to pick up the excess coins, walk outside, and throw them into the street. I'm sure this was some sort of grand gesture but really he could have just given the money to me and I'd have spent it on cider. Freak)
I'm not going to write anymore because my mate is waiting to take me out for a cider. I've wasted enough time and money on this part of the TCC. I know we have to try them all but I feel cheated. At least Maseladar was amusing and they served food of some description. I'm off now to drink to forget. May next time bring better.
Berry7.
Monday, 17 September 2007
Al Mirage - Sounds like a porn star.
This venue has often intrigued me because it looks reet swank and has a massive plasma screen on the wall. So on saturday nights I walk past and see people eating a curry and watching Match of the Day. Which seems like an eminently sensible combination of resources. Likewise, when I see England playing India in the cricket and people are sat watching over their jalfrezi. What a brilliant concept! I liked the cut of this curry houses' jib already.
(Edit - just found it has a webiste as well. Winner. http://www.al-mirage.co.uk/index.html
The final paragraph in the about us section made me chuckle. Tooting is the new Milan! Fair play for the website though. Need to check for these more.)
Present were:
Berry7.
Big Dunc.
Spice Jet farmer.
Lurch.
Desmond.
Nick.
Matt + missus.
Steedane.
Jag

For a midweek get together this was a good effort! We rocked in and were offered the £12 eat all you can type deal. Actually I think you were limited to one starter and main course but it would clearly be enough and it included drinks. Alcohol is banned though so you couldn't abuse this deal to get drunk. It was mango lassis all round. We declined the deal because we wanted to see how the bill fared, a la carte. Bring it on please.
The poppadoms were swift and the dips already laid out. We were soon clattering through hearty mango chutney and mint condiments but we were all pleasantly surprised by the cherry dip. Was it a chutney? Can't really remember but it was something I'd never had before. Marks for originality. The starters came after with chicken tikka, onion bhajia, chilli paneer, some fish and kebab. The bhajia came first and it was seriously tasty. Hopes were high after this. It had loads of flavour and the onion was nicely cooked. We sensed a good venue.
Sadly though this was possibly the high point of the meal. The kebab was spicy and enjoyable, the tikka not bad, the fish was pretty bland and rather like the deep fried fare out of a pub and the chilli paneer lacked any real flavour. The cheese itself was excellent but the sauce was "like a campbell's tomato soup." Quote of one of the TCC sat near me. It really was a bit disappointing.
In between the starters I checked out the toilets, which were sparkling, and then returned back downstairs, in the disabled lift. This looked like something out of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Quite brilliant and it took me a lot of bravery to use it for some reason. Possibly the personal highlight of the night.
The mains then came and we had a large selection to get through, due to the number of attendees. Fish masala, chicken methi, chicken tava, chicken jalfrezi, balti methi lamb, tropical lamb, gutarati lamb and lamb tikka jalfrezi rolled out towards us. Accompanied by rice and naans, this was looking pretty massive! The mains were ok and at times I enjoyed sampling the ones I had not had before but something was lacking. Someone said it was like they used a stock base for all the sauces and adapted them slightly without real ingenuity. Campbell's tomato soup was noticeable a couple of times and no matter how hard I tried to feel some sort of love for the food there wasn't a huge amount I could muster. They were all fine, don't get me wrong, but they didn't excite me. The naans were not bad, again, but nothing amazing and the keema naan was like eating a brick. It all got a bit hard going at the end.
Big Dunc achieved some hero status by polishing off ALL the left overs, which was a horrible amount. It takes quite a lot to impress simple people like ourselves but this was a display of eating not to be ignored. I actually thought he might die. Good work big man. (Edit: See below for an action shot. He looks like a yank in one of those eating contests. )

So, onto the scores.
The place - 8 out of 10. It rocked. Spiral staircase, disabled lift, cctv, massive plasma screen, clean as you like and glittering toilets (in a good way like). This was a great venue. I wanted to give it 9 for the plasma screen alone but I was shouted down. As curry houses go, a good venue nonetheless.
The Service - 7 out of 10. Quick and efficient and with no messing about, the waiters looked after us really well. Slightly marked down because they recommended the fish starter and it was pretty bland and our order was wrong on the mains. Now, he had read it back to us but only to one guy at the end of the table and when it transpired that one dish was wrong, we got a bit of a moody look, as if we should just get on with it. We weren't being difficult, we just wanted it corrected. Never good to feel guilty about these things. On the whole though the service was good and the waiters chatty.
Starters and Sundries - 6 out of 10. A bit disappointing but buoyed by the cherry dip and onion bhajia. Overall the starters just didn't excite and the sundries were a little average. Nothing terrible but nothing amazing either.
Curry - 5.5 out of 10. Even less inspiring than the starters. It just lacked any real bite or flavour and whilst the tropical lamb or the fish were nice, most of the dishes lacked any real excitement. I just expected a bit better to be honest. It's hard to explain but all of us came away feeling it just about did the job. Nothing more.
Value for Money - 6 out of 10. The bill came out at about £12 a head so the deal looks spot on really. They had obviously done their maths. Whilst this wasn't expensive as such, given the mango lassis and array of naans, for pure value it lost out. For that amount of money you could do better I think and value does not equate directly to cheapness. Again you may be paying for the venue.
Total - 32.5 out of 50. A kind of nothing mark really. Above average in that it didn't end up as a 25 or less but just a bit disappointing. Nothing left me feeling like the venue had done something special but similarly it did nothing terrible. It was all of a good enough standard but nothing more. I think if you strolled in off the street that you'd be contented when you left but maybe not impressed. The venue is great and the spiral staircase and tv make it worth the visit in my book. But it's not actual curry is it!?
The happy meal was:
Tarka Dall - £2.95
Plain Rice - £1.50
Plain Naan - 60p
Sweet Lassi - £1.40
Total - £6.45. Pretty cheap in fairness.
So I think this place has a place in Tooting's array of curry vendors. I think this would be my choice if it was saturday night and I'm coming back from the pub or the football and I want to eat and watch Match of the Day with my mates. Or maybe the cricket was on and you could go along and get involved and have some banter with the staff. Sadly though you cannot drink here which kind of undermines that concept of merry sports viewing. As a venue though it is not bad but when placed in between Lahore and Mirch Masala, you have to wonder if it gets much business for anything other than its decor.
Berry7
Thursday, 6 September 2007
Lahori Spice Village - more of a hamlet actually.
So we embarked on our first midweek meeting, with a routine pint at the Selkirk. I think hopes were kind of high for this venue because it always seemed very busy, whenever any of us had gone past it. An active venue seems to call out to you to try it, so I'd been looking forward to this one. Plus it had the look of a tiny canteen which always amuses me. So we were good to go.
Attendees:
Berry7.
Spice Jet Farmer.
Desmond.
Big Dunc.
Paulo.
Matt (non Ozzie)

The "Strictly no alcohol" sign on the door brought immediate disappointment but after a brief discussion, we accepted this and went on in. Greeted immediately, we were sat at a table where the dips were already awaiting our feeding frenzy and poppadoms were forthcoming. This was more like it! Batter me with me food the moment I arrive, please.
This introduction was very pleasing and the waiter took our drink order quickly as well. Mango lassis all round then. The poppadoms were very good and the dips refilled heartily by the staff whilst our orders were taken for the starters. Everything was moving very quickly but not in a rushed way and soon we were all agreeing that this was the best service we'd seen yet. Would it continue?
The starters came out and we had chicken tikka, sheek kebab (I think) and vegetable samosas. The tikka was kind of strange, but in a good way, and the kebab was very pleasing as well. The samosas rounded off the starters nicely and we sat about impressed with everything put in front of us. We hadn't really had a chance to complain yet. As we sat there, random waiters scrubbed down the counters and tables and you got the impression that cleanliness was important here. Never a bad thing to see.
Then we ordered mains and here the service really got going. Our waiter, whom I think was the owner, chatted us through the realms of naan breads available and put up with all our questions about the various dishes. I'm not a curry expert so I'm trying to ask more and learn about the different foods and it's good when someone talks you through it. So engulfed were we by naan information that we, ok I, ordered a shed load ranging from keema to chill and garlic to jeera. I think we ordered 5 in some sort of dough frenzy as the waiter described different ones that we hadn't had before. It was all very exciting.
The mains came in good time and with a flurry of activity. Chicken jalfrezi, methi, dopiaza, mutton nihari, fish tikka masala, taka dal, bombay aloo and 47 different types of naan. In true TCC style the mains were passed round for judging and the consensus was positive. They continued where the starters left off and we all ploughed in like we hadn't eaten for days. We had enough naan to build a raft and float down the Thames.
So, onto the scores.
The Service - 9 out of 10. Right here is why this place stands out from the crowd. We may have been lucky because it was mid week, and I think we got the owner, but the attention throughout the meal, from everyone, was second to none. Dips were refilled without asking, drinks were brought quickly, dishes were explained and naans recommended. It's not that hard to do which makes you wonder why it feels so rare to find a place that can. Great stuff.
Starters and Sundries - 8 out of 10. Good all round score here. The poppadoms were brought swiftly and the dips attended to twice I think. Good chunky chutney and a good touch of spice in the chilli sauce. The startes were tasty and the naans were varied and of a good size. The keema naan and chilli naan were my favourites.
Curry - 7 out of 10. Good portion sizes and lots of flavour. I think I tried all the dishes and all were of a decent standard. The ghee content (fat) was slightly high if you were going to be honest but this didn't affect the enjoyment of the meal. They were by no means incredible and weren't up to Lahore's standard but they were still good. I particularly enjoyed the fish but then I always do. The Nihari was also very different and something I hadn't had before.
Value for Money - 8 out of 10.
Total - 38 out of 50.
This came out equal with Lahore. Which is a big statement. And here you enter the realm of what makes a good night at the curry house. If you factor in only the curry and starters etc then Lahore is a tough benchmark to beat but Lahori Spice Village upped its game with its service. This really fired its score up and allowed it to compete with the more established brands on the high street. We all came away pretty impressed by this and accepted that it deserved to be joint with Lahore on it s all round showing. If you want amazing curry then go to Lahore. But equally go to Lahori Spice Village for a good all round experience. And for the gas meter. Maybe we caught the owner on a good night or maybe it is easier to be attentive on a quieter evening but it was still quite busy and you can only judge on what you see and experience.

The Happy Meal came out at a good price.
Tarka Dall - £3.50
Plain Rice - £1.50
Plain Naan - 60p
Sweet Lassi - £1.50
Total - £7.10. A bit more than Lahore but in the same area. Makes you see the price increase of Masaledar's plush surroundings. But some people will like that so choice is good.
The only slight reservation I'd now make in hindsight is that I got a bit ill after the visit here. Dunc, with his cast iron stomach, also felt a bit under the weather on his cycle home. I am not convinced either of us can point a finger at the venue but we did say we'd list anything that came up as a footnote. Even more reason to go back and check it out again. So we will.
Hope that clears up for Russ why I took so long to post. You weren't far off in your guess as it goes. Again I'd like to say that I'm not implying the food made me ill but that we will file it away under "review again". I see Ash Aktar has posted a comment on this blog as well. Welcome. Feedback always appreciated.
The highlight of this whole visit though was Paul snatching a TCC business card off me at the end and slipping it in with the bill and the money we had left. Be interesting to see if anyone ever comes on here to berate us. Time will tell.
Berry7.
Wednesday, 29 August 2007
Masaledar - India meets Clockwork Orange.
We ventured across to Masaledar last Friday to sample their wares and check out the fit waitress. See link.
http://www.london-eating.co.uk/3005.htm
This contained some of the funniest reviews ever written. It seems this place would either blow us away or be a total disaster. Deep down I was hoping it would be a disaster. I'm still awaiting a car crash evening spent spooning mounds of veggy glop into my rubber naan. Why I don't know. Maybe being English means I secretly yearn for misery. Maybe I'm just a fool.
Present were:
Berry7
Spice Jet Farmer
Big Dunc
Desmond
Plus Guests...
Farmer's surprisingly nice and non ape-like missus Lauren.
Richard
Chloe
Ben (a bad drunk it seems)
Elle
Vicky

Anyhow, we stumbled into Masaledar after a couple at the Selkirk and waited around like idiots for about 2 minutes before anyone could be bothered to acknowledge us. It was so ridiculous that the chef looked embarrassed and went off to find someone for us. It's not hard to smile and tell people to give you two minutes is it? Apparently it is.
So they moved us out back into the most bizarrely decorated curry house EVER and then we took our seats. The decor looked like a mix between chic interior design and a mentalist on acid. The chairs were wrought iron and bright red and the walls a strange brown with minimalist pictures hanging on them. Odd but fair play for effort. I quite liked it. It beats your average curry house in Tooting, hands down.

The service remained terrible, although always polite and helpful when it came and after much looking around and wondering what was happening, we got our starters. But before our poppadoms. Seriously. How on earth? By this point we were all clutching our heads. The starters were quite good with the kebab being pretty tasty although the description of "canteen burger with amazing spices" did kind of sum it up. The spring roll was enjoyable with spinach and paneer but spring roll? Why exactly? The onion bhajis were average at best and the yoghurt was fizzy! Don't ask but it was fizzy!
Then the mains came, after another elongated wait, which was fine as we topped up on Cobra, and jabbered incessantly about the TCC with our guests, who seemed to be enjoying the concept. I stopped taking notes at this point because I was a bit pissed and it wasn't really worth it. I was already writing the place off. Then, in a bizarre turnaround involving Lazarus and a sprinkle of cumin, the kitchen provided some quite excellent main courses. I didn't write them down because I was too busy eating but I went with the fish masala, a chicken jalfrezi, chicken methi and other usuals were ordered plus a variety of lamb and vegetarian dishes. The mains were really pretty good and we all tucked into each other's dishes with glee. The night finally took off and people were doing the vital part of a curry night which is saying "ooh you must try this lamb" or "have you tasted the fish?" and everyone mucking in. At last Masaledar came to life. But was it too late?
So onto the scores.
The place - 7 out of 10. I liked it. We all did. They'd put loads of effort in to make this somewhere different from the plethora of canteens down the high street. The seats were big and comfortable and the decor was chilled. There was a distinct lack of atmosphere though and it did feel a bit like you were just stuck out the back where we were. But it was a nice change.
The Service - 3 out of 10. Good. God. They were friendly and helpful and so on but really. The service was so bad that I managed to make a 3 skin joint at the table with hash and no one even came close to noticing. It took me about 5 drunken minutes to do. They would be gone for ages before even popping their heads back in and even then it was hard to get their attention. Poppadoms after starters was quite inspired. Even the waiter looked shocked at that one.
Starters and Sundries - 6 out of 10. Some were pretty good, others a bit bland. The food in fairness pulled this place up because the starters did get everyone chatting about the food and its relative qualities whereas before were just laughing at the service. Not bad at all.
Curry - 7 out of 10. The mains were tasty and deserve some credit. We had a range of dishes and each one (apart from the kidney bean curry which seemed like a good idea at the time) had a good amount of flavour and spice. I did really enjoy the mains but people felt after an 8.5 for Lahore that this only warranted a 7. Good, strong curry though.
Value for Money - 5 out of 10. Some said 6 but overall the "locals" said 5. The bill came to £12 each with tip which is a fair increase on last week for not as much value. I think you are paying a bit for the decor here, which is fair enough. You would want to take my sister here and not Lahore and pay more to shut her up. Personally I'd rather pay less and have the better curry and try and shut out her nagging tones as I eat my chicken tikka starter.
Total - 28 out of 50. Thinks it's all been covered. It just let itself down when it could have easily scored well. The decor is there and with a bit of attention and hospitality then the place would do well. They need to dedicate people to the back area and not leave them out to dry and just up the effort a bit. The starters could be a bit more inventive and the poppadoms come with some chutney and so on rather than just fizzing yoghurt. A few simple touches would really pick this place up. It does have the nicest surroundings I've seen, if you're bothered by that sort of thing so it may well do well on that alone.

The Happy Meal came out more expensive than Lahore.
Tarka Dall - £4.25
Plain Rice - £2.25
Plain Naan - 90p
Sweet Lassi - £1.95.
Total - £9.35.
Pretty steep really.
Lahore sits untouched after one week then. Rightly so. Not sure about a venue this week. Might go on Monday night to somewhere quite canteen like and test the water of some of the smaller, lesser known venues. Friday was a good night and our guests enjoyed themselves but I think there are better to be found venues in our quest. I made it to bed around 3am this time I think after Bad Drunk Ben removed himself from my front room. I suspect it may not be the last I see of him on these nights.
In other news our business cards are on their way! Excellent.
Berry7.