Tuesday 9 September 2008

Asli Zaika - God Only Knows.

After this recent visit, I asked myself what the reasoning behind this club was. Why did we start and what were we hoping to achieve? We used it as an excuse to go out and eat good food but the ultimate aim was to celebrate the amazing variety of "curry houses" in the Tooting area. Obviously not every curry can be an exquisite foray into the sub continent's finest cuisine. Without the odd disappointment, you would never appreciate the quality ones I guess but it's still a shame to write a bad review. I'd rather write gushing review after gushing review than to write what I am about to write but we can only report on things as we find them.

I had been eyeing up this restaurant for some time as I had been struck by their advertising board which said they did a curried kidney dish. It's not something I would want myself but I was intrigued. Turns out on further inquiry that they didn't actually do this dish. Still, something excited me about the place and I was keen to try it out. This was my first mistake.

Present were:

Berry7
Dubya
Paul
Paul's housemate Mark
Desmondo

Being a small group, we expected a quick and enjoyable meal from one of the many canteen type establishments that abound in Tooting. As we found with Lahore Spice Village (the old one), we know these more intimate venues can provide the best curries. Tragically this was not the case.

Let's get it into it then. The popadums came out immediately as we ordered them. As in, seconds after we uttered the words. They were cold, stale and had clearly been sat there for some time. I am not sure I have ever left my popadums before, mainly because I am always starving and just shovel them heartily into my mouth. I could not even finish it. This was not a good start.

The service was one of the most bizarre things I have ever experienced. I am not sure how to do it justice but I reckon we had to repeat every order at least twice and any questions we had about the menu were met with the blank stare of utter confusion. It wasn't even a language barrier because pointing at dishes on the menu was met with a similar response and then after it all when the order was read back, it was wrong. I honestly believe that someone drafted in off the street could have done better. It was so bizarre that we all had to bite our lips to not rudely break out into laughter. For a moment I thought it was a wind up. Tragically it was just the service.

The starters were very average. The kebabs and samosas were edible but then I assume they are mass produced anyway so it's difficult to credit them much with these. The onion bhaji was cold. Not just warm or tepid but utterly cold and the texture was chalky. My vague hopes that bad popadums and service would give way to a feast were rapidly disappearing. It was time to move swiftly onto the mains but by now we were all convinced that the meal was not salvageable. We weren't wrong.

Now, I have eaten a lot of curries, ranging from bright orange masalas back in the 90s to homemade fares whipped up by drunken mates. I am not sure I have had a curry this bad before. Sometimes you go somewhere where all the dishes look and taste the same or just reek off curry powder but this was just indefinably bad. The aloo kheema had minced meat that looked vaguely like it might once have seen an animal. It was almost dusty and floating in the sauce. The bhindi ghost, my own choice, had such horrific lamb that I could not take more than one mouthful of it. The chicken jalfrezi had stringey bits of chicken in it, as if they had just scraped together enough for the dish from the bottom of the freezer. The chicken chilli was ok in fairness but just ok and the lamb curry made me feel sick when I tasted it. I'd to like to point out at this point that all five of us love curry and tried very hard to find something in this meal that was decent. This was not easy.

The breads were very very good. The garlic naan in particular was exceptionally fluffy and fresh and the chilli naan was similarly enjoyed. The tandoori paratha was bland however and these two naans were the only thing that salvaged a terrible meal. Actually, that's not fair, the mango lassi was good as well. So just go infor a garlic naan and lassi if you ever find yourself inside.

Sorry to be so harsh. I am aware that the owners probably work very hard in running their restaurant but if I am paying for it, I expect it to be edible.

The place - 4 out of 10. It was clean. The toilets were well maintained I suppose. It was a canteen type venue with not a lot going for it but this is not a problem if the food is up to scratch. I think we all know how those scores are going to go.

The Service - 3 out of 10. As I said, this was laughably bad. It's one thing to struggle to understand your customers, but it's another to be utterly confused, even by your own menu. Every single thing we said was met with a blank look of terror, as if we were asking for the theory of relativity to be explained in Latin. He was nice enough, he never punched anyone in the face or anything but that was literally it.

Starters and Sundries - 3 out of 10. We realised that we had to give it 3 because the naans and lassi were good. It got that desperate. We were sat there in the pub trying to find somewhere to give this place some marks. Sad times.

Curry - 1 out of 10. It took us a while to come to this mark but it was universally agreed on. At first I think we started a bit higher because it seemed almost rude to give it less but the more we discussed it, the more it became clear that anything higher was utterly unjustifiable. A curry made in your own house with the worst supermarket sauce would have been better. In fact it would have tasted like a feast from the heavens in comparison. As bad as it ever gets.

Value for Money - 1 out of 10. I mean it wasn't expensive so you could argue it represented ok value but then you have to ask yourself if it was worth 50p let alone a tenner each? I would rather pay five times that much and be able to eat it than take one bite and slide my dish away. actually scratch that I'd rather just eat somewhere for the same price that served excellent food. But you get my point...

Total - 12 out of 50. Good. Lord. Really that bad. We tried so hard to give it marks because, as I said, we aren't doing this to take glee in bad restaurants. We'd love to have a load of amazing venues to bore you with but tragically this cannot be dressed up as anything but a disaster. I can only hope we caught it on a terrible night and that one day we will go back in and be forced to apologise for this review. I won't hold my breath mind.

Happy meal costs were:
Unknown.

I totally forgot because I was so shocked by it all. I will try and find out but it's all irrelevant really. It could cost 10p and I would still not bother.

So that's that. Sorry for the harsh review but hey, we can;t just make up good dishes. We have another to review tonight. We are hoping for better! We are hoping to be able to finish it...

Berry7.

Wednesday 30 July 2008

Kastoori - The Return of The TCC

Greetings,

I can only apologise for the lack of content on here during my travels around South America. It appears that the two left in charge in my absence could not organise a naan fest in a tandoor oven and so the blog remained sadly blank for six months. But I am back now and the TCC is back in the mix so fear not. I can hear the collective sighs of relief all across south London from here. My time in South America was fantastic but there is a real dearth of curry out there so my taste buds were keen to be reunited with my old friends like bhajia and paneer on my return. Sorry to my real friends and family who should have been the main cause of my homesickness. Sadly it was just the curry I missed.

The rules of TCC have slightly changed. We've done away with the free-for-all, all welcome approach that pervaded before my departure and have now tightened the invite list. If you are reading this, considered yourself a member of TCC and were not invited then I am sorry. The problem we had was trying to rate a restaurant fairly with 14 drunk people baying for popadoms. We are a more discreet, better honed curry rating machine now.

Present were:

Berry7
Big Dunc.
English Matt
Desmondo
JP (Our legal advisor)
Dubya
Moun

I have wanted to try this restaurant for some time now because I have heard good things about the vegetarian wares that are available. Having shorn the group of drunken fools who always complained if we suggested a vegetarian restaurant, we were able to stroll along and get involved.

It was early in the week when we went but the place was reasonably busy and the atmosphere seemed lively when we entered. A couple sat near us began regaling us about the food and we were immediately seated with polite speed. The service was forthcoming and helpful with a flurry of activity greeting our arrival and popadoms and drinks brought quickly. The popadoms were average and I seem to remember that the dips were nothing exciting.

The variety of dishes available on the starter list was really impressive and anyone who is short sighted enough to think that vegetarian curry is limited, should really get a grip and come to a place like this. The menu threw up some exciting alternatives to the usual fare that greets you in a standard restaurant and it was refreshing to take so long scanning the menu.

To start we had chilli paneer, dahi ruri, onion bhajia and samosas. All were very satisfying with the dahi ruri being a veritable work of art in its preparation. I have pictures on my phone which I will attempt to transfer onto here as it was an impressive starter in its own right. The chilli paneer veered away from the horribly tomatoey sauce we have become accustomed to in some restaurants and the onion bhajia was fluffy and very enjoyable. Even the samosas had a great kick of cinammon in them which was a nice variant.

The mains were equally intriguing with a large selection of "specials" of which one only one dish was ever available per day. This was a nice touch as it immediately made you want the ones that weren't available and makes you start planning your next trip to try the others. They all looked very exotic and showed the diversity of the menu. The pick of the mains were the Mutter Panir, Special Tomato Curry and the Chilli Banana Special although all of them were very tasty. There was a definite sense that you were eating something made fresh and without heaps of additives and colourings. Each dish tasted thoroughly different to the last and you could identify the vegetables in each easily. The flavours were really impressive and this is not the sort of restaurant where each dish is just made from one standard base.

As the meal wore on and the dishes got banded about, you could not help but feel that this place deserved its reputation as providing high quality, vegetarian dishes that stood out in a sea of Indian restaurants.

The place - 8 out of 10. The restaurant did all it could to be a friendly and warm place to have dinner. The decor is clean and tasteful and the atmosphere inside was welcoming. Everything from the interior to the table itself were clean and modern in appearance.

The Service - 8 out of 10. The owner spent a large amount of time talking us through the dishes. I think he clocked that we were curry nerds when we came in and decided that on a quiet night he could afford to indulge our geekishness. We learnt about the sourcing of vegetables, the combination of Ugandan and Indian cooking and how the specials are prepared. The order was correct throughout. The boss definitely made it though as the rest of the staff were very pleasant without being extraordinary.

Starters and Sundries - 7 out of 10. I am wondering if this score was a tad harsh. Being our first meeting in six months, I think we were scared to just start raving about a place. Possibly a 7.5 or 8 would have been fairer. The starters were good and the variety on offer excellent. The popadoms were possibly a bit bland and the dips on offer not that exciting but the bhajia and chilli paneer were very tasty. Chapatis and rice were good.

Curry - 9 out of 10. Very, very enjoyable. The selection was varied and the special list was extensive. The chilli banana was so tasty and the special tomato curry, as recommended by Ash Akhtar months ago on our comments section, was so flavourful as to be almost confusing. How can tomatoes taste so good? Too many good curries to list but the veggie curry with aubergine was also great. Must stop or I will keep writing.

Value for Money - 7 out of 10. Not that cheap. But then we did drink a fair bit and maybe this skewed our feeling of how much we paid. I think the bill was £21 a head including tip and this included a couple of pints each. Again I am wondering if this mark is a little harsh as value is based on quality as well as price. Perhaps an 8 would be fairer but the marks cannot be changed!

Total - 39 out of 50. A new leader and deservedly so. This place provided so much quality and diversity that it is impossible to argue with this result. It could easily have broken 40 as well I think but such is the drunken voting system of the TCC after six months out. If you have not been here then get down there. It really will not disappoint

Happy meal costs were:
Tarka dall - £2.95.
Chapatai (no naan) - £1.50 (two pieces).
Plain rice - £2.50.
Mango lassi (no plain) - £2.75.

Total - £9.70. Expensive. Think this is skewed by the pricey mango lassi. Perhaps they would have done a plain lassi on demand.

So we're back. To come back to a curry of this standard was most pleasing and a definite contender to take people who may not like the canteen style restaurants that we love like Lahore and Mirch. In fact I think this provides a really nice balance of price, quality and comfort and is somewhere you need to visit if you have not already. Good to be back. See you all soon.

Berry7.

Thursday 3 January 2008

Mirch Masala - A proper Christmas meal with all the trimmings.

Happy New Year to you all! I trust the festive period brought you loads of booze, unwanted presents and a realisation that your family are all mentally insane.

Before Christmas, we ventured to Mirch Masala for a slap up meal and a few cheeky cans of cider. Sorry for the late write up but I've been flat out gobbling turkey, eating cheese and consuming alcohol like it's mineral water. Now my life is starting to realign, I thought I best write up this gem of a location.

http://www.mirchmasalarestaurant.co.uk/mm/index.htm

Looking at this, the original opened in Norbury and this branch opened in 2001. Enough history. Here's the review.

Present were:

Berry7
The Chapati Kid
Desmondo
Spice Jet Farmer
Moun
Bad Drunk Ben
English Matt (Ithink)
Lurch (Edit - Who wasn't actually there it turns out)
Dubya
Sal
Angry Northern Steve

Plus a fair few others but its ages ago and I was drunk. Let me know and I'll add you in. (Edit - think that's everyone now...)

Now it is hard to review this place because we have always loved it, but we made a stringent effort to be honest and to give it a fair rating. We love it because it consistently delivers incredible curry, at very reasonable prices. Like Lahore it doesn't place too much emphasis on being swanky but more on the quality of its dishes. Being made up of people more concerned with the content of our plates, this sits very well with us. Would it deliver now though? When it mattered.

They managed to sit us very quickly despite being busy and us having about 10 people in our party, and we were ushered to the upstairs window seat. Because we have eaten here a few times we kind of knew what we were after and the service was quick as usual.

The popadoms and dips came quickly but were disappointing. For some reason they only give you two dips: a yoghurt and a chilli one. Both are ok but neither set the culinary world alight and I do like my mango chutney and onion salad. It just feels like a bit of a let down and sets a slightly strange tone to start the meal.

The starters however haul everything right back on track and provided a great variety of dishes for us to try. We tried to order a similar selection to our normal fare when reviewing, to give us a good comparison against other venues. The samosas were ok, the kebabs were very tasty and the fish bhajia we ordered was very enjoyable indeed. I had never had that before. The two highlights however were the onion bhajia and the tikka paneer. Both of which I am yet to see bettered round Tooting. The tikka paneer really is amazing. Worth visiting for that alone, in my humble opinion.

The mains fared just as well, if not better. I don't want to sound too gushing as I have already admitted that I love this place but really, the curry is amazing here. All the mains we had were great. The chilli chicken karahi, methi chicken and chicken korma all provided us with quality curry experiences but it was the fish tikka masala, okra curry (forget the name) and paneer tikka masala which really stood out. I am yet to have a better fish curry anywhere I don't think.

I'd like to write more about the mains but by this point I was quite drunk and my notes have personal insults about my fellow TCC members and myself scrawled in spider like writing all over them. It's not as professional as I'd hoped. Sorry but it was Christmas!

The place - 6 out of 10. Pretty average decor but clean and bustling with people. The upstairs provides quite a nice location for bigger parties while the downstairs is a bit more lively if you are in a smaller crowd. It's fine but it's really nothing special. Bit better than Lahore but none of the glamour of a posh restaurant.

The Service - 7.5 out of 10. I can't quite remember why we only gave it 7.5. I think the service was good and all the ordering was done correctly but we weren't blown out of the water by how we were treated. To be honest I was a bit drunk at the end. Good but nothing amazing I think!

Starters and Sundries - 8 out of 10. Fantastic. Like I said the tikka paneer is quite immense and all the others were great. For me the bhajia and the paneer are as good a starter as I have had in Tooting, on par with those at Lahore where the chicken tikka was really very impressive. Nans and rice were good quality also.

Curry - 9 out of 10. Brilliant. Really, really tasty, good selection and my fish tikka masala was simply out of this world. It really was enjoyable and possibly a bit better than Lahore for quality of curry. In our opinion obviously. I just don't think you can say much more really.

Value for Money - 8 out of 10. Not as cheap as Lahore but still great value. I did take the bill home with me but I may have eaten it in the Tooting Tram and Social afterwards. Sorry about that. Can anyone else remember the rough costs? All I can remember is it was great value considering how good the curry was. BYO keeps the cost down although we didn't factor this into our score. Good if you like a drink though.

Total - 38.5 out of 50. A joint leader! A great venue, really lively, excellent curry and value for money. Perhaps if you wanted a swankier venue you'd go to Vijaya Krishna but if you want brilliant curry then Lahore or Mirch. I think Mirch just edges it but I've only been to Lahore once so I think it's wise to say that could be personal bias. Get involved.

Happy meal costs were:
Tarka dall - £4.00.
Plain naan - 70p.
Plain rice - £1.50.
Plain lassi - 50p. (So mentally cheap I ordered one and it was very good)

Total - £6.70. Reasonable prices helped by a very cheap lassi.

So...good. Very good and one I would happily recommend to anyone looking to hit Tooting for a curry. I hope the review is fair and covers the good and bad parts of the place. Like Lahore though it goes straight for good quality curry and for us, that's really what it's all about. Give it a try. I doubt you will be disappointed.

I'm off for three months to South America. I am toying with setting up a chain of curry houses there. If that falls through I'll be back in April and until then, the Chapati Kid and Big Dunc will look after you.

Happy currying.

Berry7.