Radha Krishna Bhavan - Sounds like a 1970s Indian Cricket Legend

After the shambles that was Kolami, I longed a for a good curry, a strong curry, to get me through the post traumatic stress of Kolami. How could they do it to me??? HOW??? So anyway, we ventured round the corner from Tooting Broadway to a nice little venue, en masse. Rolling in with 11 people, they look panicked by our arrival but managed, with some coercion, to get us seated after about five minutes. I thought about booking ahead but I figured this was unfair as other venues have all been caught on the hop.

Present were:

Berry7
Lurch
Dubya
Loz
Boulderhead Alan
Michelle
Steedane
Jag the Token Indian
Matt the Neglected Aussie (Apologies!)

Can't remember the rest. Sorry!

It was a bit worrying to see two older men dealing with a rammed restaurant. We did the old glance around to get someone's attention and after a few attempts I was met with a "one moment". Ok then. I feared we may be treated to some more bad service. However I was wrong as the waiters were just genuinely trying to get through the backlog of work thrown upon them. I think an extra member of staff might have helped but it was mid week. Fair dos.

Poppadoms came out and we tucked in like starved prisoners finally tasting real food after years stashed in a hole. Lurch had earlier tried to eat his own arm so we were excited to get some scram The dips included the yellow coconut goodness that I don't know the name of, and were most pleasing.

The starters included dosas as it was a South Indian restaurant and we ordered the following: ravi dosa, chicken dosa, onion bhaji, uthappam, chilli paneer and potato bhonda. The starters were a mixed bag with some excellent moments like the two dosas and the bonda but average bhajis and terrible chilli paneer. The selection was varied though and it went down pretty well. But then we were starving.

Onto the mains and the waiter advised us that 6 or 7 mains would not be enough between the 11 of us. Normally when we have a load of starters, we often order less than one main per person and bulk up on side dishes so I was surprised at this. I told him we'd be fine and ordered anyway. It turned out the was right, but more because the portion sizes were very small. We picked kerala fish curry, cochin prawn, kerala mutton, chicken masalaban, chicken and spinach, lamb fry masala and some sides like beetthoran, carrot poriyal and tomamto curry. As suggested by Ash Aktar, albeit at a different venue.

The food was good. The variety of dishes was excellent and the veggie sides were tasty and varied. The tomato curry was fantastic and we heartily ordered some more dishes, as the waiter had recommended we should do. We thoroughly enjoyed them but you couldn't help but notice that not a huge amount of meat or fish was present in them. There were no naans so we had parathas which were quite tasty and everything was pretty enjoyable.

It was only when the bill came that the mood changed a little. But anyway, onto the scores.

The place - 8 out of 10. It was cool! Comfy, homely with a touch of mad Indian design going on. The place was small and busy which gave it a really good vibe and the waiters ran around all night, giving it an appearance of being very lively. We argued over 8 or 8.5 but I settled with 8 as it wasn't exactly lavish or anything. A good venue though undoubtedly.

The Service - 7 out of 10. The guys were a little bit abrupt at first but simply because they were so busy. They seated us quickly and once we got passed the initial delay they were attentive and friendly. They chatted us through dishes and so on and advised us where needed. There were some delays at times though and the banter wasn't exactly flowing so we gave it a good but not outstanding mark.

Starters and Sundries - 6 out of 10. The starters were not bad. Some were better than others though and I think they got so demolished because it was late and we were hungry. The dosas were really nice but again the chilli paneer was pretty bad. The sundries were similarly ok but again nothing amazing.

Curry - 7.5 out of 10. The curries were very tasty and the variety was excellent. The mutton and fish ones were lovely and I really enjoyed the tomato one. There was plenty of choice and all were distinct in their taste and spice. We liked them so much we ordered a couple more at the end to fill us up. I am getting quite hungry just typing this up...

Value for Money - 3 out of 10. And this is where the most important part of the review takes place. The bill was very expensive. Well, expensive for Tooting. We did have a couple of large cobras but the bill was about £25 a head. Looking back at the menu, I realised that the dosas were £5 and some of the mains £7. Given that the mains came in pretty small bowls this was very expensive. I was pretty shocked and it was a shame as the place was good.

Total - 31.5 out of 50. A good venue let down by the cost. Maybe it fills a niche because I would probably take my parents to somewhere like this over a Mirch or Lahore but I was pretty shocked at the cost. It would have scored really well if the bill had been more reasonable.

The happy meal was:

Dal plus spinach (no tarka) - £2.50.
Plain paratha (no naan) - £1.60.
Plain rice - £1.60.
Mango lassi - £1.90.
Total - £7.60

I'm off to have a cocktail now so that's your lot. Review a bit late as I was off sick last week and my broadband isn't up and running yet. Sorry about that. Who knows what the next venue will bring. Hopefully a smaller bill but mains that are just as tasty!

Berry7.

Kolami - No joke required. Just eat here.

Hello Curry Fans,

This was a weird TCC as we decided to go after the rugby between England and Tonga. I was slightly concerned that we would just get drunk and stumble around, unable to remember the voting criteria as we dunked our faces in seaming bowls of madras. As it turned out, it was best we had been for a drink. Given that being drunk means you can eat donner kebabs and see them as some sort of gourmet feast, it does not bode well on this establishment that we were so disappointed with our evening.

The meal began with swift delivery of acceptable poppadoms and dips. A fair enough start. The waiter was polite but hardly friendly and the place was empty apart from our table of eleven.

Berry7
Northern Steve.
Spice Jet Farmer
Desmond
Bad Drunk Ben.
Lurch
Shell
Dubya
Paul the Coin Thrower
Elle plus fella

The place was deserted. I tried not to read too much into that but I can see why now. We ordered and the waiter did a good job in reading the order back to us. We were a drunken group and he worked hard to get the order right. The menu was very inflexible though and when I asked if I could order fish masala, I was told no. They had other masala dishes and fish dishes but couldn't do anything but a fish curry. Fine, no worries and all that but it always annoys me when no effort is made to accommodate what you want. I've had that dish in every place so I'm not convinced it's particularly hard to get.

The starters were pretty terrible. Apologies for the slightly half baked report but I didn't take the normal notes and so I can't tell you what we had. Being a South Indian restaurant, some of the starters weren't that well known to me so we picked a few random ones and just got involved. They were really dry and crunchy and even when heaped with yoghurt, were unpleasant to gnaw through. The bhaji was ok and the spinach one was not bad but everything tasted reheated and dreary.

So we moved onto the mains, already sensing a car crash of a meal. The mains came out and we piled in, drunk and hoping that, like Maseladar, we would be greeted by good quality dishes. The notes I have alongside my fish read "FUCKING RANK". Now I am genuinely not the harshest of critics but it was soooooo fishy that I could barely taste it. It wasn't just me as I passed it round and saw the same face pulled each time. I was pretty shocked to be frank. The lamb bhuna and chilli chicken were pretty acceptable and the goa chicken vindaloo average but the lamb masala was poor and the chicken and spinach was positively bad. I saw a tikka masala going round which was luminous orange and I kind of gave up trying after my fish had made me gag into my own mouth. I can only hope they were unlucky with the fish they gave me but I couldn't ever go back.

I didn't make many notes. Unlike Lahore or Lahori Spice Village where debate was raging about relative merits, people were mainly pushing their plates away and hoping we could leave. Paul was so drunk by this point that he was becoming a liability and we debated force feeding him the fish curry to silence him. For ever perhaps.

I'm not sure if the marks are fair. I tried really hard to be positive when arguing them but a couple of people would have given 1s or 2s if given their way. In fairness this inlcuded Paul who by now was telling us all that he had eaten better dog. Not sure what that tells us but hey.

The place - 4 out of 10. Quieter than a library packed with smack heads, the place almost scared me. No one was in there and it was obvious why later on. i tried to add marks for the decor to be kind and it was clean but it reeked of mid 80s suburban curry house. Clean. That's about it.

The Service - 5 out of 10. i argued for a higher mark here with some of the others because the guy tried hard to keep us happy. We weren't a model crowd, we had been watching rugby and were 11 in number but other than his politeness, he never really worked to have any banter with us or help. Given that we were his only table and thus the only chance for a tip, this surprised me. It was 10.30 when we went in but then it's a Friday in Tooting for goodness sake. Meals were brought out quickly. That's about all.

Starters and Sundries - 3 out of 10. Pretty foul. Nothing of real note and a pretty bad stepping stone into the world of badness that awaited us. Think we gave it a 3 because the bhaji was edible and I was drunk enough to feel guilt at giing it less.

Curry - 3.5 out of 10. This caused some contention. A few people tried to argue for 5s. Paul was drunkenly rambling about a 1 being too high. My fish disgusted me but I tried to be fair in that a couple of the dishes were edible. 3.5 was pretty fair in my eyes and possibly generous. Not good. very basic and uninspiring food all round.

Value for Money - 3 out of 10. How do you define value? Having a nice meal would be a start. i was so unimpressed by the end that I didn't even write the bill down. But it wasn't cheap. Think it was £17 but that included two big Cobras so probably about £10 a head for food. Regardless, it's not about the money at this point. Yes it was food and yes some was edible. That's about your lot.

Total - 18.5 out of 50.

Enough said really.

The happy meal was:

Tarka Dall - £3.50
Plain Rice - £1.90
Plain Naan - £1.20
Sweet Lassi - £1.90
Total - £8.50.

A scandal really.

(Edit: i have just remembered that Paul's anger at the meal was such that when he realised we had left 10% as a tip, and still had some extra money left on top, that his reaction was to pick up the excess coins, walk outside, and throw them into the street. I'm sure this was some sort of grand gesture but really he could have just given the money to me and I'd have spent it on cider. Freak)

I'm not going to write anymore because my mate is waiting to take me out for a cider. I've wasted enough time and money on this part of the TCC. I know we have to try them all but I feel cheated. At least Maseladar was amusing and they served food of some description. I'm off now to drink to forget. May next time bring better.

Berry7.